I sit here tonight, this beautiful night... and miss my friends in the old land. I miss the nights of sitting around, drinking coffee and just talking. The occational guitar or two picked up and played... background music, live. I miss college. I miss the summer after college. I miss Ohio. Why do I think about this more sometimes than others? I'm glad that I don't feel sadly like this very often anymore, but dang. Why does life change so much? Why do we get so close to people and then leave? Damien Rice is playing right now in the background. Yummy. His music is so great... but it may be adding to my sadness.
I know that things have changed. I know that change is often very good. I know that alot of the people I miss sharing regular daily life with are also no longer in that old land. No one is doing what they were doing then. Life goes on. Life changes. Life changes people. I know now why people say that college is when you make your life long friends. Those people who are around you when you are figuring out who you are. Fortunately, I have some close very close friends from after college too. I was still (and maybe still am) figuring that out. Do we ever really know? Do we ever feel fully content with ourselves and life for longer than a few days? Does satan gravitate to those who are feeling good? Why are feelings so strong? Feelings, these things that aren't nessecarily concrete, yet, oh so strong at times. Sometimes I want to stop feeling, but I've been there before too and if you haven't please don't wish it on yourself... numbness = awful. Although I guess it is a nice break sometimes. I don't know what I think tonight. That probably means I shouldn't be blogging, but a wise friend of mine used to tell me not to "should" on myself and I like to remember that, so I blog on blogger.
Tonight my roommate asked me if she could pray for me, no particular reason. How awesome is that? Tears streamed down my face. It is good to be loved and to love in return. Community, fellowship is one thing we are created for. In community we understand our father more. We understand more, his love for us. Us crazy humans, that are so beautiful because he created us that way. Wow, huh?!
I am loved. I am loved by THE God. And by many humans as well. For these things I am thankful. Yes, I am thankful.