stuff and a little more stuff

On life as we know it:
there is so much sadness in this world. so much brokenness. fallen pretty much defines it. i have to believe that God is good, i know that God is good. i have seen his goodness. so, i’m trying to reconcile these things. i am thankful that our waves of sadness come in spurts, cause to quote a friend, we would have all jumped off a bridge a long time ago. no, don’t be worried about me. this, believe it or not, is quite normal. i’m not depressed, i’m just feeling the burden of many of my close friends who are heavily burdened right now. i know that prayer is powerful, but i want to fix it all. i want to bring true joy and happiness to all. although i did realize about year ago that i can’t save the world. a devastating realization.

Ecclesiastes 2
24 A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?

how do people without the Lord survive? this is my question. cause he is the only Hope we have in this fallen world.

i’m sure that i make most everything more complicated than it needs to be. this mind. ah this mind. Contentment. Satisfaction. Happiness. Joy.

am i not content with my life because i am not meant to live here? do i always want to move because of that, or is it something else?

i asked mary yesterday if she thought people like us make life more complicated than it needs to be.
she said. no. i think we live in the deep and life is complicated there.
and i think for as complicated as we might "make" it, we know that we could boil it down to the one thing that really matters
to which I asked: but is it ok for us to be there? does that cause agony?
she said. yes and yes. i think that we have a choice to live on the surface and love the beauty that's underneath from up above OR we have a choice to go scuba diving.
it's dangerous, nothing is ever safe about it …
we could get our arms bitten off my sharks ...
but everything is more beautiful there.
we can actually reach out and touch the depths!
(isn’t she great?!) (be on the lookout for her blog)

On winter:
i’m not sure that anyone could know just how much i dread the onset of winter. just thinking about it makes me want to crawl into bed with a book and not get out until next spring. or onto the couch with a blanket and good movie. or around a fire with some good music. or any combination of these things. lets just call it hibernation mode. i think that we all know i’m much more a fan of summer. bring on the sweat. i have also recently realized my love for a good warm beverage. and today i’m thankful for the sun that is shining through the windows. smiles all around.

i wonder as i wander (through my own future)
it looks as though i will have off the last ½ of december this year. so i will be making my way around the country, kinda. first to atlanta for my cousins wedding, then to FL with the family for the week before and christmas, then to OH for the week before and new years.
if anyone wants to be my date to a wedding on December 18th, please let me know. also if anyone wants to join my family in FL before christmas, or even for christmas if you are willing to be away from your own, please let me know. i’m accepting any and all who would want to partake in these trips. seriously. (if it gets to the point where i need to accept applications, i’ll let you know.)

signing off.