Q: How often should I change my pillows?

I remember hearing something about how nastified our bed pillows get in a short period of time, which totally sicked me out. However, I have taken no action as of yet to replace the pillows that I've had for who knows how long. So I did some quick research on the subject. Here are 2 answers I found...

A1: We recommend that pillows be changed regularly - about 2-3 years for a quality pillow and every year for a budget pillow. Pillows build up large quantities of dirt, dust, dead skin and dust mites, so if you don't wash them every 6 months then you should replace them.

A2: We recommend that you replace your pillows at least every other year. The pillows are not exactly the best environment for dust mites, but they become a hygienic problem after several months because of the skin particles and oils left behind over time. You may disinfect your pillows with Mattress Spray every time you change the bedding, that helps to get rid of bacteria and viruses, especially in an area that's very close to your nose and mouth. To kill dust mites in your pillow, just put it in the freezer for an hour.

Who hears me on this? This is completely sick. I want to get myself some good quality pillows with the right kind of stuffing, but these things can add up you know. Thus, I will add to my list of car items and tools from last week. Santa, two new pillows, please.

stupid pieces of metal

This drama queen has a hard time thinking rational thoughts.
Jumping to conclusions. Freaking out unnecessarily.

That was me this morning. When I went down to my car to go to work, it wouldn’t start. Click click click. Are you kidding me? I mean, this is never ending. I’m definitely getting rid of my car. It’s not worth it.
Called my boss to tell him I’d be late. Called every person I could think of and no one answered their phone until Dave. He was 30 minutes away, on his way to work. No problem, something will work out. Evidently he called one of the guys from our small group (whom I had already called.) Jon thought, dang if two people are calling me this early maybe I should answer it. He then got specific instructions on how to jump start a car from Dave, called me and headed over. In the meantime I called my Dad and cried, a lot. After the jump, it started right up. Whew. I was told to make sure it ran for as least a ½ hour, so I drove around aimlessly for about that amount of time. After the allotted time, I shut the car off. At this point I was in the parking lot at work. Just for kicks, I thought, I’ll start it back up again. NO! It did the same thing. Click click click. Completely bummed, I walked upstairs. Four men asked me what was wrong with my car and all concluded that it was probably the alternator. Crap. I don’t know what that is, but I’m sure it’s expensive. Bob said he’d look at it, give me a jump and follow me to the shop. However, when the hood was up he noticed that there was a broken piece of metal that connects my battery to something else. (Obviously, I have no idea what I’m talking about.) So we hopped in his car and headed to the hardware store, where I bought this little thing that cost $1.29. I can handle that. Bob replaced the cracked part with the new one. (I really wish I remembered what the part was so I don’t seem like such an imbecile.) It started right up after that. Praise the Lord. I didn’t even need another jump. I only spent $1.29. Bob got a big hug from me and I’m planning to make him some muffins for tomorrow morning.

I’ve decided not to go into all the thoughts I had and decisions I made this morning while sitting out in front of the house. I’m just extremely thankful that it’s all better now.

My Christmas wish list:
jumper cables
crescent wrench
a new tire (I do need a new tire)
If I got all three of those I’d be overjoyed.

A HUGE Thank You to
Dave for calling Jon and giving him instructions,
Jon for getting out of bed to come over and jump start my car,
Bob for fixing my car,
John for being so patient with me and all my problems and
my dad for always helping me to return to a rational state of being.
you guys are Grrrr-eat!

performer

as a high school graduation gift, some of our family friends made a video of my "highlights" from growing up in church. katherine and i watched it tonight. hilarious. i'll have you all know that i was quite the little singer. we were both a little shocked at the number of times i was up on the platform at church. while i'm sure we are all pleased that this is not the case any longer, it did bring some smiles and laughter tonight.
much needed.
its the little things in life.

Christmas... I guess it's just in my blood

you see, i keep telling people that i'm scrooge... but i think that era might be coming to an end.
my roommates are listening to christmas music and i don't want to throw up. i'm actually enjoying it, mostly.
i was downtown today and was so happy to see all the people and all the christmas decorations and the "big tree." the 13th Annual Magnificent Mile Lights Festival is tomorrow and i'm actually sad that i'll miss it. (big frown) what has come over me?
the marshall fields windows are done... this year snow white is the theme.
i can't believe it, i'm excited about christmas. lets put up a tree.
bring on the joy of the christmas season. yes, bring it on.

other things. i talked to my daddy yesterday. why is he so awesome? my family isn't getting together for thanksgiving this year, so ryan and i are heading home for the day sunday. i can't wait to see my parents and my brother. i love them so much. completely blessed i am.

this rain won't bring me down, no way jose.

happiness re: the weather

does anyone else notice that it is in the 60s?
i am overjoyed. i mean i don't even care that its overcast and rainy (this is a big deal), because i don't need a coat. Woo Hoo!

last night i stepped outside to clip my claws when i realized that it was an amazing night so i went back upstairs and asked mary if she wanted to take a walk. she did. we did.
it was awesome. we walked around for about an hour or so. what a beautiful night. the ground is wet and the leaves are falling. the street lights glistening. and we just chatted as we walked. then we topped it all off with a few minutes of swinging on the swings at the park next door. it had been way too long since i'd been on a swing. Weeee!

"its a great day to be alive"
country songs have seemed to define my last few days. but travis tritt was running through my head last night and this morning. my mind then traveled back to the family houseboat trip from a few years ago. this was one of the theme songs that year, thanks to wendy and todd. so a shout out to you guys. and a shout out to mr. tritt.

today is hugging me and i like it.

live like you are dying

(I heard these words from Tim McGraw...
about a man who is going to die soon.)
" Asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end.
How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And he says

I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fu Manchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.

Like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity to think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can I do with with it, what would I do with it. "

so this got me to thinkin'. what if i lived like i was dying. there would be no more or at least much less holding back. (i'm still human.) what if i lived full force all the time. gave my all, all the time. everything would be experienced deeper. i would be more honest. i would love more fully. i would probably in turn hurt more deeply, or maybe not... because it wouldn't matter as much. i don't know. but if you think about this for a few minutes your mind goes in many different inspiring directions.

so thanks, tim.

i've been ski diving
i've been rocky mountain climbing (or at least rocky mountain hiking)
i've ridden a mechanical bull for much longer than 2.7 seconds (you do the best you can living in the city.)
but those other things... those more important things. those are the things that could use some work.
love deeper.
speak sweeter.
give forgivness more freely.

i'm not claiming to be void of love, sweetness and forgivness. i just thought, if i knew i was dying, if i was really aware of the fact that this life is short, things would be different.
so i'm going to try to be more aware of this.

hugs all around. hugs to all. maybe even some kisses.
and much more laughter.
more smiles.
more thankfulness.
more grace.
more joy.
more good conversations.

today is a good day.

a loss for words

i had a great weekend with great people.
felt sad when they all left.
it's a weird problem i face every time i spend time with people from my old "home." i can't wait to see them, i have a great time with them, and then i bawl my eyes out when they leave. it's not that i really want to move back to OH. it's not that i don't love my life in Chicago. i'm not sure i can explain it. but it really does happen every time. it is that they're good people and so plesant to be around. this time i'm referring to my most recent visitors. heath, matthew and jared. but i could list off many more, those good friends that feel like family. a personality or a feel that comes with a group. its like insta-friend. does that make sense? i know this has nothing to do with me, but i AM super-blessed! this "blessed by people" thing is a theme in my life. i feel that way all the time. how in the world could i know, love, and be loved by so many great people? so i'll go back to the theme word: overwhelmed.

anyway. mary and i were talking last night about how much we loved that our house was full of people for the weekend. people that are easy to be around. people that are comfortable and safe. and how that's what we want our house to be.
a place where people come.
where people are welcome.
where people leave feeling blessed by friends.
where people make connections with other people.
no more of this trying to keep up with a friend from this part of life and a friend from that part of life... lets put them all together.
lets build a safe enviornment where we can all just let our hair down and be real and be love.

this IS possible you know. so onward and upward. time to continue building community.
so to all those who read this: our house is your house. for real.

erin, laura and jen. it was great to meet you. come again.
kat and mary. i love you and am continually blessed by how our lives connect.
heath, matthew and jared. my roommates and i just love you. please come again.

i put pictures up from the weekend too. check 'em out.

excellence

it was MUSE
and it was good.

destruction

do you ever want to be destructive?
do you ever just want to tear something apart?
not because you feel anger, just because its sitting there already broken.

i'm sure that intro makes me sound kinda psycho, but...

i was just sitting here putting endless labels on envelopes... when i picked up the little squishy thing that supposedly protects my dainty wrist from carpal tunnel syndrome. i tore it up. i pulled off the cover. ripped away the plastic. pulled out the squishy stuff and played with it for a while and then threw it away.
then i turned back to the task and hand and wondered to myself. self, why did you do that?
hum... lifes many questions.

solitude

silence and solitude is so necessary.
so often this is what i need.
but it is what i fear.
being alone with myself and God. really alone.
no internet. no music. no conversations. no daydreams.
just me and God.
i don't want it, but i need it.

what i perceive vs. real truth

I would like to try to relate my thoughts to Plato's Allegory of the Cave. Let's see how I do...
i guess what brings this on is my relalization of how ones surroundings truly affect their perception of reality. for instance, i live in a highly democratic city. i mean, lets just for arguments sake say everyone is chicago voted for kerry (which obviously isn't true.) it seemed to me that most everyone hated mr. bush and his conservative policies. not to mention most of my friends inside and out of the city disliked bush enough to join the club know as "kerry haters for kerry." obviously that skewed my perspective because not everyone felt that way, i mean bush won, right?
ok, so this might be a lame example, but it just got me to thinkin' this morning about how much our surroundings effect our perceptions of life.
here's hoping that during the next four years democrats and repulicans can find some common ground to make change for good.
signing off.

making the same decisions more than once

i just attended the annual conference for the NASCW (north american association of christians in social work).
the first day of the seminars i sat there... i sat there and thought, what am i doing? why am i not working in the field? AH. this is my heart. this is my passion.
yes, i've said this before... in fact, just about every time i'm around people outside of my everyday life.
then i get home and somehow convince myself that this is a good place for now and i don't look for a new job. BULL. the truth is, i'm scared. i've been rejected alot, but that isn't what i'm scared of. i'm scared of change, i'm scared of failure. i'm not scared of not getting a job, i'm scared of getting a new job. how lame is that?
i also convince myself that its ok that i don't know anyone that lives on my street. um... this girl who talks about community. i'm a walking contradiction.
this is not a good place for now. i need people to remind me of this. i need people to get me fired up about social issues and about disadvantaged people. seriously, working in this realm is what i was created to do.

another thing.
the keynote speaker from the last session left me feeling extremely frustrated about comsumerism and how it has completely ruined our country. when i returned to chicago i went on a quest to return some items i had in my closet with the tags still on them. funny enough, when i walked into the store with nobility to return stuff, i felt this crazy almost unbearable desire to buy more stuff. more clothes. what the hell? i don't need more stuff. that is the last thing i need. but for some reason i feel like i need it. (just so you know, i didn't buy anything yesterday except an auntie anne's pretzel. that place had a completely irresistable smell.) but back to non-food items... i see ads, i look at other people and i want more. but why do i allow myself to get sucked in? rage!

one more thing: i know she will never read this (for she is far from technologically inclined) but i'd like to make a shout out to Miss Christina Marie on her 25th bday.

surreal nights

i started my journey to the DC area last wednesday evening.
kat (who is awesome) drove me to the airport. good real conversations we had.
i was so excited again about the self check-in at the airport. (for anyone who has yet to experience this... it is way better than the grocery store self check-out, which produces more frustration than time saved.) you swipe a credit card for identification purposes. you touch "yes" this is my flight. you touch "yes" i'm checking baggage. you touch "yes" this seat will be fine. then it prints out your boarding pass, the dude or chick behind the counter gives you a sticker for your luggage, and you are on you merry way. no long lines. glorious.
i head into the terminal, get myself a nice chicken pesto sandwich and spur my mind to journey in a book.
i flew out of o'hare. one of the biggest airports in the country. but as i got on the plane i was shocked at its size. it was so small. i almost had to bend over a little to walk through. and i'm only 5'7". you couldn't even fit normal size carry ons. people were having to leave them at the gate to be put on the plane. i sat next to a nice older business man, had a short conversation about who we each are and i continue my reading. half way there i'm realizing the effects of a small plane on ones ears. i felt like i was scuba diving. i had to keep popping them with assistance. none of this yawning/chewing stuff was working. i mean i had to plug my nose and blow. (as i write this i picture myself and giggle.. i'm sure i was quite a sight.)
then the pilot announces that there is a lunar eclipse. but its on the left side and i'm on the right side, no biggie. but everyone around me starts talking about how this will probably be the only time we'll see a lunar eclipse from a plane and all the people on the left side were leaving there seats in order to allow the people on the right side to come over and look. (i've never experienced such nice people on a plane.) by the way. it was cool.
when we arrived... they couldn't connect the plane to the terminal so we exited down stairs to the outside. then entered the airport which was super small. i mean all this combined i just felt like i was stepping back in time to a place with much less technology. bizarre. all i kept thinking is this night is so bizarre.
then i waited about 45 mins for the hotel shuttle after calling them. i met a nice man from pennsylvania and another one from bermuda with a cool accent. he reminded me a little of Mr. Howell from Gilligan's Island. i just sat there on the bench... waiting. upon arrival to the hotel i headed up to my friends room. a little confusion on the room sitch left 4 women with one king size bed. each of the other three women were already in bed (sad, cause i was not the least bit tired) and i ended up sleeping or at least laying on an armchair for the night.
that was the first day of my trip.
(it gets much better... i'm sure i'll write about it.)